Top 5 reasons guys don’t get laid on dates.

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#5 He laughs at his own jokes.

Although you may think its funny that Tom Green says the line “I don’t see two lebarons freddy” in the movie Freddy Got Fingered, your date will not get such a kick. She probably hasn’t seen it. And when you bust into that ridiculous laugh, well she is going to squirm right back into the “no lay zone”

#4 He talks about his “sweet ride”

You might be very proud of your low rider classic gangster bicycle that you built in your moms garage. Heck, you might even ride it in public every now and then. But let me tell you what won’t be happening once you mention it to your date…… You won’t be riding her on the handlebars anywhere, and she certainly won’t be…… well I think you know where I’m going with this.

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#3 He pretends to be “cultured”

This one is just ridiculous. SO many times I see hear of guys on dates talking about their “martial arts” skills and how they’re going to visit Japan or China or wherever their “art” came from. If you take karate thats great, but there is no reason for you to wear that hat, and participate in that culture. You don’t know CRAP about dragons or oriental traditions, take off the raiden hat!

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#4 He shows off his muscles.

This one is even more ridiculous. How smug do you have to be to pull up your stupid tightly fit shirt to show off your rippling muscles. I mean, I think it’d be cooler if you whipped a clarinet out of your fanny pack, assembled it, and played a full on looney toons song in the middle of whatever restaurant your date is happening in. The only thing thats really flexing when guys go for this move is the tendons in his date’s eyes. Because they’re usually about to roll out of the back of her head.

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#1 Admitting to being able to do the superman dance.

Yeah, this one is short and sweet, and its a surefire way to lay proof your evening. Dressing like this and admitting that you know all the words and the dance to ‘Crank dat’ Soulja Boy’ is just firming up your appointment with your hand later.

I hope everyone has more luck on their dates now that I’ve cleared this up!

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One Response to “Top 5 reasons guys don’t get laid on dates.”

  1. Best Jokes For You! » Top 5 reasons guys don’t get laid on dates. Says:

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